Thoughts on Change

Change. It can happen in the blink of an eye or slowly over time. It’s inescapable. It’s woven into the inner most parts of our being. From the time we are conceived to the time we die, we will go through innumerable changes. We change physically, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. Our ideas change, our desires change, our tastes change… the list goes on and on. The reality is, life is filled with change.

So why then, does change scare us so much?

The way I see it, the problem with change is that we can’t predict it. Sure, there are warning signs. But often times, we wake up and hardly recognize our own lives. Change is beyond our control.

Change scares us when we find ourselves living a life we never imagined. Change leaves us in an unfamiliar place and that place can be incredibly daunting.

A year ago, my boyfriend and I broke up after years of dating. My life changed despite my every effort to escape it. Suddenly the future I was working towards was completely shattered and I was left trying to piece my life back together. I found myself struggling in the middle of a vast ocean without any signs that the storm would pass.

Going through such a huge change wasn’t easy. For a long time I tried with all my might to resist the change. I was digging my heels into the ground and stubbornly wallowing in self-pity. There came a point where I couldn’t keep fighting the past. It was exhausting. I had to stop. The truth is, change is painful, but there’s nothing worse than staying stuck in that pain. I needed a major attitude adjustment.

In the wise words of Socrates, “The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.” This past year, I’ve learned that the less I try to resist change, the easier it is to cope with it. I discovered that the circumstances in my life were beyond my control and had already changed. Moving forward, I could only control the outlook I had on my life in the midst of all the change. When I stopped resisting, it was as if suddenly the sea that I was fighting to stay afloat in became calmer waters. I found that my resistance had intensified the pain I was experiencing. Once I stopped fighting the waves of change, I felt more at peace. My situation wasn’t any different, but I had adjusted my mindset.

I began to recognize that not only was the course of my life changing, but I too was changing. I was no longer the person I was before my relationship or even during my relationship. I had gone through the biggest change of my life. I had to learn how to heal, how to be strong, and how to overcome. I had to discover who I was aside from my relationship. I realized that there was no way for me to become a more authentic version of myself without change. I began to understand that without change, there is no growth. My mindset had shifted from fighting the past, to shaping my future. I had a choice in who I would become.

I think butterflies are one of God’s sweetest reminders of change. Butterflies are proof that you can go through a period of darkness and still be transformed into something beautiful. Despite the painful storms of change that I have experienced, it has been a privilege to be able to grow into who I am today. I’m by no means perfect and my journey is far from over, but I can say without a doubt that the changes I have experienced have helped mold me and shape me into a truer version of myself. I couldn’t have predicted who I would become and I never thought that I would be able to move past all of the hurt. But here I am, learning to live life through all the changes. God has been with me every step of the way. That is a beautiful thing.

“He has made everything beautiful in its time.” Ecclesiastes 3:11

Even In This Season, Choose Thankfulness


The holiday season is here in full swing. With the holidays comes an influx of traditions, smells, tastes, music, and quality time spent with those you love. This season is often a time to pause and reflect on the past year and how far you’ve come. It’s a time to cherish all things big and small. Extra effort is put into being thankful and celebrating throughout the season.

Even though the holidays are supposed to be the happiest time of the year, it can also lend itself to a lot of pain and heartache. The holidays can trigger memories from the past and how things have changed. It can be painful to feel the void of a passed family member or the loss of a significant other. This season can make us feel disappointed that we don’t have that picture perfect family or someone special to spend the holidays with. It can be an unpleasant reminder that things aren’t quite where we want them to be.

As I reflect on my own experiences this year, I’m bombarded with feelings of sorrow that things have changed. Memories of Christmas’ past flood my mind. The familiar parts of the holidays are different this year. A time that should be filled with anticipation and excitement for holiday gatherings, gift-giving, and spending time with loved ones is overshadowed by the stinging pain that someone will be absent from all that. It’s difficult to be thankful when there is so much pain.

I have to admit, I’ve had numerous breakdowns in the quiet moments between festivities. There have been days when I’ve tried to stay busy to distract from the pain of my emotions. There have also been days when I’ve milked every tear, brooding in the sadness of my circumstances and ruminating in the uncertainty of my life.

The reality is it is sad. It is hard. It feels backwards and unnatural to be seeking joy and thanksgiving in the midst of heartache. Yet, the sorrow and grief I’m experiencing has reminded me of my constant need for God. In my brokenness I’ve begun to experience reliance on God in the purest form. I have to continually choose to trust in the greatness of God and the sureness of His sovereignty. I’m learning to pray, seek Him, and give thanks in everything. The last part seems so paradoxical. Give thanks in everything. Everything. What if everything feels like sadness, grief, confusion, and anger?

I love this quote from She Reads Truth, “God doesn’t ask us to silence our sorrow in favor of thanksgiving. Rather, He uses our sorrow to proclaim a type of thanksgiving we wouldn’t be able to express otherwise.” What a beautiful reminder that even in the hurting and want, we can experience thankfulness. The type of thankfulness God wants us to experience isn’t only for the best parts of our lives, but also the messy parts. God calls us to be comforted in our times of sorrow by the sureness of the hope we can find only in Him. The truth is God is good always. Even in the heartache, sorrow, questioning, and uncertainty…He is good.

I’m slowly learning that I don’t have to dwell in my pain. That doesn’t mean I don’t feel the pain. It means I let it come, experience it, and let it pass. It means remaining steadfast in my faith and holding onto hope.

So here I am in the midst of my pain and emotions, choosing thankfulness. I’m thankful for a God who meets me where I am, wraps me gently in His arms, and let’s me know He has it under control, even if I don’t. I am thankful for the struggle because it has molded me into a stronger, more resilient person. I am thankful for the discomfort because I know it means I’m growing and transforming. I am thankful for the loneliness because it allows me to examine who I am and who I want to become. I am thankful for my friends and family who have supported me through the ups and downs of this year with love, grace, and care. I am thankful for those who speak truth in my life and remind me that beauty can come up from the ashes.

Through it all, I am thankful for the process. I am thankful that I am not defined only by my sorrow and yearning. I am thankful for the ability to express gratitude for this season, even though my heart aches. Most importantly, I am thankful for the true beauty of Christmas and the eternal gift of hope that has been given through the birth of Jesus Christ.

“And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.” 1 Peter 5:10

5 Reasons to Read The Lipstick Gospel

One of my favorite bloggers and an inspiration for starting my own blog, is Stephanie May Wilson from Today, I’m excited to share with you something that Stephanie has been working on for a long time—her very own eBook, The Lipstick Gospel, A story of finding God in heartbreak, the Sistine Chapel, and the perfect cappuccino. I had the opportunity to read it between a long weekend visiting a good friend and a delayed flight home. I was so impressed with The Lipstick Gospel that I wanted to share it with you!

Here are 5 reasons I think you should read The Lipstick Gospel:

  1. It’s the perfect companion to your favorite drink.
    The Lipstick Gospel is a quick read—perfect for cozying up with on a cool autumn afternoon. Go ahead, take a break from the craziness of the season, grab yourself a glass of red wine, a pumpkin spice latte, or some hot cocoa and get reading…The Lipstick Gospel won’t disappoint!
  2. Reading Stephanie’s story is like catching up with an old friend.
    There’s something about Stephanie’s writing that is so endearing, it feels as if you’ve known her forever. Stephanie doesn’t sugar coat things. She tells it like it is. She’s just the right amount of humor and authenticity all wrapped up into one. You’ll find yourself quickly turning each page as you learn more and more about Stephanie’s journey.
  3. It’s a story of God’s love, redemption, and letting go.
    The Lipstick Gospel is Stephanie’s story of how she found God in the midst of heartbreak, confusion, and sorrow. Stephanie invites you into the process she went through—the ups, the downs, and everything in between. Stephanie recounts a beautiful story of hitting rock bottom, traveling, finding God’s love, experiencing His redemption, and learning to let go.
  4. It meets you where you’re at.
    As I read The Lipstick Gospel I found myself in awe of how relatable Stephanie’s story was to my own current experiences. I am both inspired and comforted knowing that I’m not alone in my journey. Whatever you’re going through, wherever you’re at, The Lipstick Gospel is sure to encourage you.
  5. It’s free!
    Best of all, The Lipstick Gospel is a free eBook! Click here to get your own copy. All you have to do is put in your email address, click “yes, subscribe me to this list” in the email Stephanie sends you, and then you’ll be redirected to the page where you can download the book. It’s formatted as a PDF so you can read it on your phone, tablet, computer, or even print it out!

My hope is that you find yourself as encouraged and inspired as I was after reading The Lipstick Gospel. I pray that God uses Stephanie’s story to teach you more about His grace, truth, and love. After you read it, I’d love to hear what you think. Happy reading!